I decided to give up.
What did I give up?
My expectation of being the best pitcher of all time.
In the past, this expectation gave me pleasure;
I fantasized about success, especially in contrast to the miserable situation I’ve been in (for the past 10 years).
But I am giving up that pleasure to have peace.
Peace became my priority, even before baseball.
I still believe that I will become the best.
Yet, I’m not expecting it;
I’ll be surprised when it happens;
I’d be delighted for exceeding far beyond my expectation.
Baseball remains my main project;
Playing in the big leagues is still my #1 desire (after I get this peace thing).
I’m still going to put in the work.
I’m going to do the same things (probably).
Yet, the journey will be pleasing.
I’ll enjoy every moment of progress;
I don’t expect much progress either.
And so on this day, I declare:
I give up.